Low Self Esteem live with it or fight against it?!

Which way do you want to travel?

  

Self Esteem. Some people have crazy amounts of it, some have the right amount of it, and some, like me, wake up every day with their head held down because they have ZERO self esteem. I will 100% admit that I don't have any and any one that is close to me knows I have zilch of self esteem flowing through my body. I am SOOOO ready to change that. I am sick and tired of living this life always comparing myself to someone else, not thinking I am good enough for anything or anyone, not even being able to wear what I would love to wear because I feel like I look horrible in it. Having no self esteem..no self confidence literally runs my life. I am sick of the sad sappy show and I am ready to turn this around and I AM READY to live life to the fullest!!! I deserve to be happy just like everyone else.

  Some people live a whole life not even realizing that they have major low self esteem problems. They just think that is the way that their mind works, but it shouldn't be!! If you are wondering if you deal with low self esteem problems than you honestly probably do deal with them.

Signs of Low Self Esteem

You hate absolutely everything about yourself.

You constantly question other peoples thoughts, feelings, and actions they have towards you. (Normally you think there all negative.)

You can't accept a compliment because inside your telling yourself that, "they are just complimenting me to be nice".

Compare, compare, compare. You are ALWAYS comparing yourself to other people. They are prettier than me, they are smarter than me, they are funnier than me, they have a better body than me, etc etc. 

Sorry becomes your go-to word. You catch yourself saying sorry almost after every sentence. You even say it so much that people bring it up to you asking why you say it all the time or that you need to stop saying it.

You just can't say no. 

Someone asks you for help at work, but you have to finish up your work so that you can leave work early today. You know you don't have time to help this person or you will be stuck staying at work way later then even the normal hours you'd work. Inside your head your screaming NO I CANT HELP YOU!!!..but what comes out of your mouth is..Yes of course I'll help you. Instantly, your swearing yourself up and down because you couldn't say no!! 

Indecisive has become your new middle name. You just can't ever make up your mind and honestly you'd rather have someone else make up your mind for you. 

You always feel like someone else's floor mat. If you can understand that statement, chances are you have been/are someone else's floor mat.

You play the Blame Game. You always seem to blame others for your faults. Taking responsibility for your faults shows other people that you aren't perfect..so why not play the blame game and take the heat off of you. (Yes, this does happen to people with low self esteem.)

Putting other people down constantly!! This can become quite ugly. Some people with low self esteem begin to put other people down because that person has something that they want. So jealousy enrages inside of them and really mean ugly down right hateful words come spewing out of their mouths about other people so that they make themselves begin to feel better about themselves. 

   Having low self esteem issues can really hurt yourself and hurt other people around you. It can hold you back from actually living a beautiful life that you are meant to live or it can hold you captive to not being able to establish relationships with people. The side effects from low self esteem can be pretty small multitudes to enormous multitudes. 

  The real question is are you ready to change? Some people use there low self esteem as a shell. They are comfortable with it and would rather not throw themselves out there to the wolves. Others don't even realize that they have low self esteem and just deal with it.  Then there are the people that realize that they have to stand up and deal with it or they will never be able to fully love the life that they were given. 

  I am realizing that I need to stand up and fight back!!! I have been living a life full of low self esteem and at times it makes me socially handicapped. I want to be able to wear whatever the heck I want to wear and feel beautiful and not care what other people are going to say about me. I want to be able to take compliments from people on the streets or people close to me with out thinking they are just lying to me or are making fun of me. I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be able to pick out things that I like about myself. I want to be able to let loose around people and honestly not care what they think about me. I want to be able to stand tall and to be genuinely happy. Yes, I realize I want a lot in life, but I don't want to live with the burden of low self esteem anymore.  

   I am willing to put in the work to accomplish this..are you??

Ways to Battle Low Self Esteem

Positive Affirmations. 

I am a firm believer when it comes to positive affirmations. If you continually say something over and over again the mind does a crazy thing and starts to see it and believe it. People with low self esteem have probably told themselves over and over again that they aren't good enough. By constantly telling themselves this they started to BELIEVE it!! In this case, you need to fight those negative thoughts with positive thoughts. In return, you would tell yourself, "I am good enough and I am worthy of all good things." This obviously takes time. It could take months, but I promise the power of words can make a huge difference. (It has worked for me.)

Become More Assertive. 

Stop being a floor mat for every person that crosses your path. I have been unassertive for years and years so trying to change to an assertive person is very strange..even awkward for me. It is well worth it though!! This whole experience alone has made me experience life in a whole different direction and I like it.

 Remember my example from above? About you needing to leave work early so your trying to finish up your work and then a co worker comes up to you and asks you to help them out..you don't want to help them out because in the end you will be stuck at work longer than you would normally be there!!  Instead you say yes that you will help your co worker out. The whole time your helping them you are literally screaming and cussing yourself out in your head. This problem can all be avoided once you become assertive. You just kindly tell them,"No I can't help you today. I am trying to finish my work up to get out of here early." BOOM! It was that easy!! Then you wont sound like a drunken sailor in your head and you will accomplish finishing your work early and getting out of work early!! Simple.  

Never Ever Compare. 
 Sally has long beautiful legs and I have short stubby ones. Frank makes way more money than I do. Lisa is in so much better shape than me. Greg always knows all the right things to say and I never do. Bla bla bla!! Do you see the picture I am painting for you?? Comparing yourself to other people or other situations will only end horribly. It will make you feel bad about yourself, it will make your self esteem feel the lowest of the low, etc. Everyone's life is different. That is something you must embrace in this life, but don't ever compare. 


Do something out of the ordinary by fighting those negative thoughts! 
Remember how you've always wanted to take a painting class, but never did because you always told yourself you were a horrible artist, you couldn't paint, you would just end up looking dumb. Get rid of all those negative thoughts in your mind and just do it. There is a reason why you always wanted to take a painting class..so just do it!! Do it for YOURSELF!!! Will it feel weird and awkward at first? Yes it might. But, will it be worth it in the long run..ABSOLUTELY!!! Once you begin to start doing things out of the ordinary that you've always wanted to do..you will want to keep pursuing other things too. Is it going to be easy at first? I can't promise that it will and I can't promise that it won't. Hang in there and just do it!


Help others in a positive way. 
 Helping others will open your heart and soul in way that can't be described, but it will make you feel amazing. When I say help others I don't mean become a floor mat. That is by no means going to help you out at all. Help others in a positive way! Volunteer at a homeless shelter, volunteer to help animals, volunteer any where that would make you feel happy. Does your close friend need help moving? As long as helping them move doesn't put your schedule in a jam than help them out!! Did Uncle Leroy just have surgery and you have an open day tomorrow? Make some time to stop in and help your Uncle Leroy out. I am sure you get the picture now! :)


JOURNAL.  
Get those negative thoughts out of your head and onto some paper!! Doing this sometimes helps release all of the negative tension conspiring in your mind. Also, writing stuff down and re-reading it can open your eyes to how a lot of the negative thoughts are honestly not true at all. Something that I've learned to do is with every negative thought you've written down..write a positive next to it. Do this every single time and after a while you will start to notice that your mind will start thinking like that too. I always always always recommend writing your thoughts down in a journal for any circumstance in your life.   

Have "you" time. 
 Making time for yourself and doing things that you enjoy can make a huge difference. Have a spa day for yourself or for extremely busy folks that are lucky to grab 10 minutes alone then meditate or do a quick round of relaxing yoga. Yes there is such a thing as yoga that isn't crazy hard and it simply is just relaxing. Do something that YOU enjoy!!


Out with the negative.  
Sometimes we have to be selfish in our journey of life. While you are trying to help yourself by actually having a positive self esteem sometimes you have to let go of all of the negative things in your life. You could be riding the positive vibe wave when all of a sudden your negative friend comes to hang out and every fiber in your body turns into riding the negative vibe wave. Just hanging out with that negative friend once has totally messed up your way of thinking and it could take days to get that positive way of thinking back again. I know that totally sounds harsh, but its very true.
 Let me give you an example. Let's say an alcoholic is trying to quit drinking alcohol and this person is doing awesome. She hasn't drank in over a week! Then one of her old drinking buddies stops over for a few hours and before you know it she's drinking with her buddy. She wasn't strong enough yet to put herself in that situation. Since she did, her drinking again could set off another wave length where she has trouble quitting again or she lost the motivation to quit that she had just hours prior to their hanging out. 


That is my list so far. Does anyone else have any ideas on how I can conquer this low self esteem saga in my life? If so, please comment!! I am ready for a change in my mind, body, and spirit. I hope that I have helped at least one person out there!!

My Experience with Magnesium Oil

Art Naturals Magnesium Oil

Benefits of Magnesium Oil

Promotes Pain Relief from Headaches, Joint Pain, Muscle Pain, etc. 

Relaxes, Reduces Stress, and Calms you

Great to use as a Massage Oil

By Using Everyday it Helps Recover Cellular Levels

Helps with Arthritis Pain

Reduces Inflammation

Helps anyone with a Magnesium Deficiency

How to apply

Massage it into your skin

Spray it onto your skin (Spray onto freshly cleansed skin.)

You can put some into your bath tub and enjoy a wonderful bubble bath while your skin soaks it up!

Foot soak it up!! Warm water & Magnesium Oil is all you need!

My Review

The first time I used this product I was in for a total shocker. I used the spray onto skin method and I literally felt a tingly feeling..which wasn't too horrible, but any where I applied it ended up feeling EXTREMELY itchy for the rest of the day. I decided to let my husband try it out (I didn't tell him about the crazy itchy side effect) and he had the same outcome. I decided to look it up on the trusty web. It said to dilute it with water if you have any itchy side effects. I tried this and I still had the same outcome. I personally love how there is so many great uses for this product, but I probably won't be into trying to spray it onto my skin again anytime soon. The itchiness is wayyyy too extreme!! Everyone's body is different though so give it a try for yourself!! 

I did, however, use it as a foot soak and that wasn't nearly as horrible!! I didn't have any itchy reactions. During my foot soak I noticed how calm I felt and it helped my feet feel so soft and amazing. I would recommend using magnesium oil as your go-to foot soak any day of the week.

I did receive this product at a discounted price to give my own honest unbiased opinion. 

Quotes Galore

  


I have always loved quotes. I can almost always read a quote and relate it to my life some how. Quotes have helped me get through hard times, they've given me inspiration, they've made me laugh, they've even made me say hmmm while making a weird face. They are soothing to the soul and can make you look at a situation in a whole different light. 


Warning..there is about to be a boat load of awesome quotes. I hope that they open someones eyes, makes someone smile, makes someones struggle make sense, or is an inspiration to someone!!

"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory."-Dr.Suess

"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished.

That will be the beginning." -Unknown

"Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again."-Alex Tan

"Lost is a lovely place to find yourself."-Micheal Faudet

"You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants a magical solution to their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic."-Alice in Wonderland

"Hearts are wild creatures, that's why our ribs are cages."-Unknown

"Some people are so poor, all they have is money."

"The only people for me are the mad ones the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.-Jack Kerouac

"Quiet people have the loudest minds."-Stephen King

"You never fail until you stop trying."-Albert Einstein

"For what it's worth: It's never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over."-F. Scott Fitzgerald

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I'm possible."-Audrey Hepburn

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."-Kurt Cobain

"You're mad. Bonkers. Off your head...but I'll tell you a secret...All of the best people are."-Alice in Wonderland

  I hope every one enjoyed the quotes that I've shared!!!

  

Ways to stop singing the dreadful Negative Nancy Blues...

 I have been walking the tight rope path while singing the Negative Nancy blues for a long time. It's a new year and I am ready to just start my journey of life walking the right beat. I am trying to live healthier with my mind, body, and soul. I have just been running into one major problem..a case of the ugly negative thoughts. 

  

  I normally try to stay positive with my thoughts, but I have been living through a rainy season of my life for a while now. I am ready to take out my umbrella and embellish all the horrible rotten things and turn them into something beautiful!! I am sick and tired of singing the Negative Nancy Blues. I am ready to sing and shout off the roof tops something amazing!!

  Getting rid of these bad negative stinky thoughts isn't as easy as you would think!! I tried and I tried and then I gave up. I decided to see how other people have conquered negative thoughts from running their mind. After making up a list of things to do to elevate my mind from the negative and to bring out positive thoughts. I have been using this list in my life lately and I have, personally, already been feeling better. I haven't been dwelling on the negative thoughts as much. I can honestly feel my negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions changing every day into something positive. 

How to get rid of those pesky negative thoughts:

1. Yoga & Meditate

  I have tried Yoga in the past and got a little bit out of it, but wasn't really looking to change any aspects of my life at the time. I picked up Yoga again and this has made a world of a difference!! There is just something special about becoming "one with yourself". The whole experience is totally awesome and helpful for me. Starting from the breathing techniques, to the poses (helping back pain..which is a huge stress reliever), pushing myself to become a better me, letting out all the negativity around me, and at the end of my yoga session I just sit there and meditate. It is SO worth trying for anyone that is looking for a change in their lives. I would recommend Yoga & Meditation to women, men (yes men do yoga), teens, or even kids!! 

  You can sign up for Yoga classes, buy a yoga video to do at home, or go on youtube and watch yoga videos from there!! I am on a tight budget at this moment..so I watch yoga on youtube. I kind of like doing it that way because I am definitely not a yoga warrior so I feel more comfortable doing it alone in the comfort of my own home. :)

2. Positive Affirmations

 I will admit I was 100% skeptical about positive affirmations. I thought it was lame, stupid, wouldn't help me out at all, etc. Wow, did you notice how NEGATIVE my thoughts were on this particular topic? I am currently sitting here with a half grin on my face because of the irony of it all. Positive affirmations is the one thing that is helping me become a better person and helping me truly love myself!! And to think.. if I wouldn't have ever tried out using positive affirmations then I would seriously be missing out on improving my life. 

  I do not sit in front of a mirror every day and look at myself saying my positive affirmations. I don't have stuff written all over post it notes and posted up all over my house. I didn't go that route. That route definitely would work for others, but I just didn't fancy that way. I started off by telling myself positive affirmations when ever I was drinking my first cup of coffee for the day. I do say them out loud when ever I am by myself and if someone is around me I still do them, but in my head! I now say my positive affirmations when ever I am feeling down in the dumps, I have a lot of negative thoughts conjuring through my mind, I want to lift my spirits, or even when ever I am feeling on top of my game.

  A lot of my negative thinking ultimately results from having low self esteem issues. For that reason my first positive affirmation was, "I am a strong, beautiful woman inside and out." I started off by only saying one affirmation a day. To this day, I only use one positive affirmation for a few weeks and then I will change it up and say another one. Once I start believing the positive affirmation or once I can feel it changing the way I think on a certain situation I will change my affirmation. Do I ever go back and use old ones? Most definitely!! 

Here is some positive affirmations you can use for different areas in your life.

Acceptance

"I accept myself, and my loved ones, just as we are."

"I accept and appreciate my current situations."

"I accept myself for who I am."

"I accept others as they are and they in turn accept me as I am."

Self Esteem

"I am a strong, beautiful woman (man) inside and out."

"I am a well loved and well respected person."

"I deserve to live an amazing life."

"I let go of negative thoughts and feelings about myself."

"I am competent, smart, and able."

Anxiety

"I am cool, calm, and collected."

"I transcend stress of any kind. I live in peace."

"I am social and I like meeting people."

"I am capable of leaving my past in the past and always look forward to the future."

Financial Health

"I am wealthy."

"I always think positively about money."

"I am rich and prosperous."

"I will be financially successful."

Love

"I am surrounded by love and everything is fine."

"My heart is always open and I can radiate love."

"I deserve to be loved."

"I am attracting my soulmate."

Jealousy

"I own my feelings."

"I am secure about myself and my self worth."

"I have peace of mind."

"I will forget my past issues."

Always remember, you have to be patient with positive affirmations. Don't expect to say them for a week straight and all of a sudden you feel the affirmations working. Sometimes it can take a while. Continue saying them though!! I promise they will begin to help you in the long run. :)

3. Exercise

  During my younger years exercising was very relaxing to me. I would go on a few mile run almost every evening. As I got older I stopped exercising so I kind of lost that exercise "want". I've tried to pick up exercising here and there, but it has seemed more of a task than pleasure. I have recently tried to embark into the exercise world again. It isn't easy, but at the end of exercising I feel a positive sense of accomplishment. I enjoy that feeling so much that I am using that to trigger my exercise "want" again. 

  Exercising can help with anxiety, depression, too much energy, not enough energy, stress, etc. Exercising can improve your self esteem, which in the end will help stop any negative thoughts flowing in your mind about your body image. When ever a person exercises they are releasing Endorphin's which trigger a positive, happy feeling. People that exercise on a regular, explain that they feel a kind of "high" while exercising. That is because of the Endorphin's being released. The brain and body can do some crazy cool things whenever you let it!! 

  If you are suffering from negative thinking..why not just give exercise a try? What is the worst that could happen? You wouldn't enjoy it? Give yourself goals to accomplish. You can start off with small goals and then work your way up to bigger goals. You never know what your missing until you try it!!

4. Journal/ Creative Journal

  I love to journal. There is something special about writing down your thoughts. A lot of times we have all of these stressers in our lives that cause negative thinking. Just thinking something is different than actually writing it down on a piece of paper and then reading it back to yourself. Once something is written down on paper the meaning actually comes to life. (For me anyway.) I would recommend everyone and anyone to start a journal. It is pretty neat how you can go back and read what you wrote a few months before and see how much personal growth you've had just within a few months. It amazes me every time. Or going back and reading about a major stresser you were going through at the time and when ever you read it you think to yourself, well that actually wasn't that big of a deal in the end. It really opens up your way of thinking. 

  Who said there were limitations on journaling? Because there is absolutely none!! The sky is the limit! If you have a creative flare to you (which I believe everyone does) than make journaling fun!! You are the only person that is going to see your journal, so personalize it! I personally do both ways of journaling. There are some days where I honestly have no desire to be creative so I just write and write. Then, there are the days where I am in the mood to be a creative maniac. I love to cut things out of magazines, newspapers, etc and make collages in my journal. I put pictures of my family and friends in them and make the page look super cute. I use markers, crayons, highlighters, stickers, nail polish, glitter glue and what ever else I want to use at the time! Like I said, the sky is the limit!! Relax, enjoy, and have fun with it!!

5. Smile/Laugh

  Instead of always have a frown on your face..add life to it by smiling!! I never even noticed that I was giving off the sad vibe until a close friend of mine asked me why I always look sad? I thought I just felt the sadness inside of me. My face told my whole story. So I began by first, faking a smile. Did it look super fake?? Honestly, probably. But, something crazy happened during that time..my fake smile started to turn into a real smile. :) 

  I then decided I needed more laughter in my life. I was holding back from laughing at really anything because my negative way of thinking was holding me back. My first initial thought would be that something was funny, but then my negative thinking would tell me, "That was stupid." In the end, I wouldn't laugh. So I decided to start off by watching funny movies. Then I upgraded to watching and listening to comedians. Before I knew it I was a laughing fool. I caught myself laughing at things that, to a normal person probably weren't too funny, but to me it was the funniest thing ever.  

Benefits of Laughter

Reduces Stress Hormone Levels

Lowers Blood Pressure

Triggers the Release of Endorphins

Stimulates Tons of Organs

Soothes Tension

Improves your Immune System

Relieves Pain

Improves your Mood

And the list goes on...

6. Gratitude List

  Writing out a gratitude list can help you look at your life in a positive way. Singing the Negative Nancy Blues can really make you look at everything in your life negatively. For example, you get an awesome new pair of shoes, but once you get home you notice a tiny flaw in them. All of a sudden negativity shoots through your brain like a wild fire.These shoes are stupid, everyone's going to think there ugly, I don't ever want to wear them, this is probably why they were on sale, etc. STOP right there!! What should you be grateful for in this situation?? 1. That you got a new pair of awesome new shoes. 2. That you had the money to buy them 3. There gonna make your outfit look killer! 4. No one else has them. I could go on, but you get the point. 

  

  Gratitude lists can turn all of your negative thoughts into positive thoughts real quick.  Being thankful for what you have or for things that you've accomplished can and will make a huge difference on your way of thinking. 

Here's an example of my Gratitude list:

1. I have a roof over my head.

2. I have food in my belly.

3. I have a jacket to wear so I am not mega chilly outside.

4. I have supportive friends and family.

5. I can smile a real true smile today.

6. I have cute awesome animals that make my heart smile.

7. My self esteem is growing everyday.

8. I have heat in my house.

9. I have snow boots to wear outside with this snowy weather.

10. I love myself today.

7. Surround yourself with positive people & positive situations.

  If you have that one friend that is constantly a debbie downer maybe you need to slowly withdrawal yourself from them. I realize that this is MUCH easier said than done, but sometimes in life you need to make changes that better yourself. I am not saying completely stop talking to them.. I am just saying maybe don't talk to them every single day. At least until your negative thoughts are slowing down and you are able to finally control them. Once you are at this point in your life you will slowly begin to take notice of people, places, and things that bring out those negative thoughts in your mind. You then can decide what to do about it. 

  Constantly dealing with negative thoughts daily can and will absolutely drain you. You need to remember that you control your thoughts so you can change them!! I am not saying it will be an easy road, but it is definitely worth it! Anytime you notice yourself saying something negative, try to say something positive about that negative. Try not to dwell on the past or the future. Take one day at a time. I still go through my days where it is hard to think positive, but I still try and I don't ever give up!!