Which way do you want to travel?
Self Esteem. Some people have crazy amounts of it, some have the right amount of it, and some, like me, wake up every day with their head held down because they have ZERO self esteem. I will 100% admit that I don't have any and any one that is close to me knows I have zilch of self esteem flowing through my body. I am SOOOO ready to change that. I am sick and tired of living this life always comparing myself to someone else, not thinking I am good enough for anything or anyone, not even being able to wear what I would love to wear because I feel like I look horrible in it. Having no self esteem..no self confidence literally runs my life. I am sick of the sad sappy show and I am ready to turn this around and I AM READY to live life to the fullest!!! I deserve to be happy just like everyone else.
Some people live a whole life not even realizing that they have major low self esteem problems. They just think that is the way that their mind works, but it shouldn't be!! If you are wondering if you deal with low self esteem problems than you honestly probably do deal with them.
Signs of Low Self Esteem
You hate absolutely everything about yourself.
You constantly question other peoples thoughts, feelings, and actions they have towards you. (Normally you think there all negative.)
You can't accept a compliment because inside your telling yourself that, "they are just complimenting me to be nice".
Compare, compare, compare. You are ALWAYS comparing yourself to other people. They are prettier than me, they are smarter than me, they are funnier than me, they have a better body than me, etc etc.
Sorry becomes your go-to word. You catch yourself saying sorry almost after every sentence. You even say it so much that people bring it up to you asking why you say it all the time or that you need to stop saying it.
You just can't say no.
Someone asks you for help at work, but you have to finish up your work so that you can leave work early today. You know you don't have time to help this person or you will be stuck staying at work way later then even the normal hours you'd work. Inside your head your screaming NO I CANT HELP YOU!!!..but what comes out of your mouth is..Yes of course I'll help you. Instantly, your swearing yourself up and down because you couldn't say no!!
Indecisive has become your new middle name. You just can't ever make up your mind and honestly you'd rather have someone else make up your mind for you.
You always feel like someone else's floor mat. If you can understand that statement, chances are you have been/are someone else's floor mat.
You play the Blame Game. You always seem to blame others for your faults. Taking responsibility for your faults shows other people that you aren't perfect..so why not play the blame game and take the heat off of you. (Yes, this does happen to people with low self esteem.)
Putting other people down constantly!! This can become quite ugly. Some people with low self esteem begin to put other people down because that person has something that they want. So jealousy enrages inside of them and really mean ugly down right hateful words come spewing out of their mouths about other people so that they make themselves begin to feel better about themselves.
Having low self esteem issues can really hurt yourself and hurt other people around you. It can hold you back from actually living a beautiful life that you are meant to live or it can hold you captive to not being able to establish relationships with people. The side effects from low self esteem can be pretty small multitudes to enormous multitudes.
The real question is are you ready to change? Some people use there low self esteem as a shell. They are comfortable with it and would rather not throw themselves out there to the wolves. Others don't even realize that they have low self esteem and just deal with it. Then there are the people that realize that they have to stand up and deal with it or they will never be able to fully love the life that they were given.
I am realizing that I need to stand up and fight back!!! I have been living a life full of low self esteem and at times it makes me socially handicapped. I want to be able to wear whatever the heck I want to wear and feel beautiful and not care what other people are going to say about me. I want to be able to take compliments from people on the streets or people close to me with out thinking they are just lying to me or are making fun of me. I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be able to pick out things that I like about myself. I want to be able to let loose around people and honestly not care what they think about me. I want to be able to stand tall and to be genuinely happy. Yes, I realize I want a lot in life, but I don't want to live with the burden of low self esteem anymore.
I am willing to put in the work to accomplish this..are you??
Ways to Battle Low Self Esteem
I am a firm believer when it comes to positive affirmations. If you continually say something over and over again the mind does a crazy thing and starts to see it and believe it. People with low self esteem have probably told themselves over and over again that they aren't good enough. By constantly telling themselves this they started to BELIEVE it!! In this case, you need to fight those negative thoughts with positive thoughts. In return, you would tell yourself, "I am good enough and I am worthy of all good things." This obviously takes time. It could take months, but I promise the power of words can make a huge difference. (It has worked for me.)
Become More Assertive.
Stop being a floor mat for every person that crosses your path. I have been unassertive for years and years so trying to change to an assertive person is very strange..even awkward for me. It is well worth it though!! This whole experience alone has made me experience life in a whole different direction and I like it.
Remember my example from above? About you needing to leave work early so your trying to finish up your work and then a co worker comes up to you and asks you to help them out..you don't want to help them out because in the end you will be stuck at work longer than you would normally be there!! Instead you say yes that you will help your co worker out. The whole time your helping them you are literally screaming and cussing yourself out in your head. This problem can all be avoided once you become assertive. You just kindly tell them,"No I can't help you today. I am trying to finish my work up to get out of here early." BOOM! It was that easy!! Then you wont sound like a drunken sailor in your head and you will accomplish finishing your work early and getting out of work early!! Simple.
Never Ever Compare.
Sally has long beautiful legs and I have short stubby ones. Frank makes way more money than I do. Lisa is in so much better shape than me. Greg always knows all the right things to say and I never do. Bla bla bla!! Do you see the picture I am painting for you?? Comparing yourself to other people or other situations will only end horribly. It will make you feel bad about yourself, it will make your self esteem feel the lowest of the low, etc. Everyone's life is different. That is something you must embrace in this life, but don't ever compare.
Do something out of the ordinary by fighting those negative thoughts!
Remember how you've always wanted to take a painting class, but never did because you always told yourself you were a horrible artist, you couldn't paint, you would just end up looking dumb. Get rid of all those negative thoughts in your mind and just do it. There is a reason why you always wanted to take a painting class..so just do it!! Do it for YOURSELF!!! Will it feel weird and awkward at first? Yes it might. But, will it be worth it in the long run..ABSOLUTELY!!! Once you begin to start doing things out of the ordinary that you've always wanted to do..you will want to keep pursuing other things too. Is it going to be easy at first? I can't promise that it will and I can't promise that it won't. Hang in there and just do it!
Help others in a positive way.
Helping others will open your heart and soul in way that can't be described, but it will make you feel amazing. When I say help others I don't mean become a floor mat. That is by no means going to help you out at all. Help others in a positive way! Volunteer at a homeless shelter, volunteer to help animals, volunteer any where that would make you feel happy. Does your close friend need help moving? As long as helping them move doesn't put your schedule in a jam than help them out!! Did Uncle Leroy just have surgery and you have an open day tomorrow? Make some time to stop in and help your Uncle Leroy out. I am sure you get the picture now! :)
Get those negative thoughts out of your head and onto some paper!! Doing this sometimes helps release all of the negative tension conspiring in your mind. Also, writing stuff down and re-reading it can open your eyes to how a lot of the negative thoughts are honestly not true at all. Something that I've learned to do is with every negative thought you've written down..write a positive next to it. Do this every single time and after a while you will start to notice that your mind will start thinking like that too. I always always always recommend writing your thoughts down in a journal for any circumstance in your life.
Have "you" time.
Making time for yourself and doing things that you enjoy can make a huge difference. Have a spa day for yourself or for extremely busy folks that are lucky to grab 10 minutes alone then meditate or do a quick round of relaxing yoga. Yes there is such a thing as yoga that isn't crazy hard and it simply is just relaxing. Do something that YOU enjoy!!
Out with the negative.
Sometimes we have to be selfish in our journey of life. While you are trying to help yourself by actually having a positive self esteem sometimes you have to let go of all of the negative things in your life. You could be riding the positive vibe wave when all of a sudden your negative friend comes to hang out and every fiber in your body turns into riding the negative vibe wave. Just hanging out with that negative friend once has totally messed up your way of thinking and it could take days to get that positive way of thinking back again. I know that totally sounds harsh, but its very true.
Let me give you an example. Let's say an alcoholic is trying to quit drinking alcohol and this person is doing awesome. She hasn't drank in over a week! Then one of her old drinking buddies stops over for a few hours and before you know it she's drinking with her buddy. She wasn't strong enough yet to put herself in that situation. Since she did, her drinking again could set off another wave length where she has trouble quitting again or she lost the motivation to quit that she had just hours prior to their hanging out.
That is my list so far. Does anyone else have any ideas on how I can conquer this low self esteem saga in my life? If so, please comment!! I am ready for a change in my mind, body, and spirit. I hope that I have helped at least one person out there!!